Little do you know how much you really are (in a non negative way)

other first grade teacher " I, pick up the cracker pieces"

I- "I don't want to be your teachers servant"

The best part of that statement.... I make my kids do pointless jobs for me ALL day long. Pick that trash up, put the stapler away for me, I am quite demanding of them. By demanding I mean, I am lazy and make them do things. They are still in that stage of "I will do anything to please my teacher", so I figure I will just enable that feeling all I can.

Cent Confusion..

Here is a fact about school.. I get SO SO tired of doing calendar with my class. I have them fill in their own calendar folders, we change and add to it as the year goes on, yet it still is so repetitive that by the end of the year I choose a student to lead it and I sit as far away as I can to still maintain the appearance that I am listening. I have even been known to be on my laptop writing emails while calendar is going on.

Since I don't enjoy it most days, sometimes I point out things to make it more entertaining. So today when we were putting up a nickel (we put up a penny for each day @ school, then trade up) I asked if anyone knew who was on the nickel. I think one person said Jefferson so we talked about that. I then showed the back of the coin and said "does anyone know where this is ?". No one responds other than to give me a blank stare. I then say "This is where Thomas Jefferson lived". K pipes up "oh... the temple ?"
Nope K, but it is quite spacious and grand....

Brutal Honesty

This past week I have been on outside duty before and after school. So I stand in the front of the school while people drop off. I make sure cars stay in the pick up and drive through lanes, and watch out for those crazy children who think it is a good idea to dart through two lanes of traffic to the parking lot on the other side (including one of my students, but that's another story). As I stand there @ the end of the day waiting for the last few students to get picked up I was talking to a first grader who is in another class.

1st grader "Miss Van Tassell do you have any kids ?"
Me- "Nope, I am not married"
1st grader- "Do you have any kids ?"
Me- "No, I am not married"
1st Grader- "Well do you want kids ? I know one for sale"
Me- "Really ? Who is it ?"
1st Grader- "My sister. My mom says she is driving her crazy. You can have her"

I wonder what she would have charged me for a only child existence ?

Bilingual Lessons

 KM "How do you know spanish ?" (mouth gaping in surprise that I actually know something)
 Me- "I just do"
 IK "I know spanish...ohglgahg gula... Hola Amigo, Hola Amigo, Hola Amigo "(WILL NOT STOP CHANTING)
Me- "Please stop and finish your math"

Side note- when I took ESL two years ago they told me to never speak the  child's native language b/c then they will not be motivated to learn English. So way to listen to instructional advice...

We might just make it after all...

This isn't something that someone said but as I sit here with ten minutes to recess, it's the thought that came to my head. After 6 days we are actually listening to directions. I feel like doing the Mary Tyler Moore jump for joy, while singing the above song. If you don't know what I am talking about, please google "Mary Tyler Moore opening credits" and you will then know...

Gender Confusion

Today was "Meet The Teacher" day. My kids come one @ a time, see their desks, I show them where to line up etc... great excitement. One of my students comes in and says
 S- " You are not a man ? Someone told me a man was my teacher, but you're not a man"

I just laughed but I think the mom was concerned the daughter had offended me. So to diffuse the situation the mom says "well maybe b/c of your name ?"

So my I may have been confused with a guy, but @ least it was because of my name, not my looks...

Last Day...

MP"You can't have forever recess, you will die"
DR"Yeah you will run out of strength"
AS"Maybe if I die I can go to heaven and be an Avatar"
 ? ( I can't remember, I was trying to type so fast) "That's not funny dude, those are humans"
 RB"Why are we talking about Avatars ? Seriously ?"